WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
