He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
