Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
