You don't have asthma, your pregnant
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
