I hate all girls vehemently.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
