Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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