Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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