is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
