Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
