that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
