when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i came on her dog
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
