i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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