More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
