when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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