you're like a bully in the Christmas story
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
