and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
