Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
