Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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