Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
