Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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