All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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