Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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