I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
