I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
