Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
