Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
