new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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