Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
