Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
They are going to name an STD after you.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
