we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
