how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
