I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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