From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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