Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
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