i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
