PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
