My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
