don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
