I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
