my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
