i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
