I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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