i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
