Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Are my feet made of real feet?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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