i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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