it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
