Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
