yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
