I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
