She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she smelled like a LAN party
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
