we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
