God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He passed out mid-signature
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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