I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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