It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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