I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
